CW: Discussion of eating disorders
Every day, as I scroll mindlessly through various social media platforms (a newly acquired habit since lockdown began), I’ve noticed a rather alarming trend. Although it already existed before we went into lockdown, since that fateful Monday five weeks ago, it seems to have become much more aggressive. Fitness instructors posting videos of their workouts, memes about gaining weight, and “foodie bloggers” posting their latest recipes (read: social media influencers masquerading as “foodie bloggers”) are nothing new. What has changed, however, is the intensity and the volume with which such content is now bombarding us all the time, all in the name of our new favourite word: self-improvement.
With so much time suddenly on our hands, in our productivity driven society, there is now apparently no better time to self-improve. Learn Spanish, Korean and Klingon! Bake bread! Read the entire works of Shakespeare! Run 5K! Run 10K! And then do a home workout! The opportunities for self-improvement are endless. I am most definitely not the first person to find this fixation with “self-improvement”- which is just another synonym for productivity- to be rather disconcerting.
That is not to say that engaging in a spot of self-improvement is necessarily a bad thing, because for many people, it is genuinely beneficial. Striving to develop a solid routine involving more exercise, better food and enough sleep, as well as perhaps picking up a new skill whilst we’re in lockdown can only be a good thing!
However, one of my problems with self-improvement is its underlying message: we ought to be filling our every waking hour with activities in order to be productive and to give our lives the same meanings which they had before lockdown, when in fact this is impossible for most people. For anyone feeling particularly powerless during this especially stressful period, this may easily push them towards, or aggravate, an eating disorder
The aforementioned fitness videos, memes about weight gain and foodie bloggers’ recipes provide a semblance of justification for an eating disorder, for anyone who feels like they need it, which is why- even pre-pandemic- they were already a prime starting point for eating disorders to develop.
Meanwhile, given their sudden proliferation in the media- infiltrating virtually everything which I seem to have read, watched or listened to over the last month- they are more likely than ever to overwhelm, rather than help, people whose mental health is presently vulnerable. The severity of this pandemic is even seriously challenging the mental health of neurotypical people. For anyone suffering from an eating disorder, and all the anxieties, fears and frustrations which it causes, lockdown is often simply unbearable.
Eating disorders are not just triggered by poor body-image (although this typically remains the main factor). They are also often triggered by feelings of powerlessness. In order to exercise control of their life, someone may develop an eating disorder as a means of controlling one of the few things which remain controllable- diet.
During the lockdown, this lack of control is much more likely to be heightened as the international situation spirals and it often feels like there’s no end in sight. Meanwhile, additional factors such as social isolation, access to food and more time to exercise or use social media only serve to exacerbate and facilitate symptoms of eating disorders.
Nevertheless, in the face of this glut of self-improvements, resistance is emerging. However, I feel that this dialogue largely excludes those with eating disorders. I have seen a startling lack of public awareness about just how disastrous the long-term effects of lockdown will be on those with eating disorders.
It is not as if these people are an insignificant percentage of the population. According to the UK eating disorder charity BEAT, 1.25 million people in the UK suffer from an eating disorder, with myself being among that number between the ages of sixteen and eighteen, which is part of the reason why I am so determined to prevent this lockdown from serving as an unnecessary catalyst.
As troublesome as our obsession with self-improvement is, it is only half of the struggle for those with eating disorders during lockdown. Mental health providers- already stretched- are harder to access than ever as hospitals nationwide turn into temporary COVID19 wards. Many seriously unwell people with eating disorders will decide against seeking help during this period because they will minimise their suffering, (wrongly) perceiving their invisible mental health troubles to be insignificant in contrast to the COVID19 pandemic. It is terrible to reflect upon how many people may die from their eating disorder during this period because of inadequate access to support.
There is hope, however. What we can most definitely do in order to help is to change the narrative about body image in lockdown. Why not start small? A great place to start would to be more thoughtful by not reposting that meme about leaving quarantine having gained ten kilos weight, or another meme about being unable to stop eating (because let’s be honest, you’re probably not genuinely suffering from a binge eating disorder, but your meme might trigger somebody who is) and don’t incessantly post about your 10k runs? Beyond that, be kind to yourself! To reiterate what many have (thankfully) already started to say: don’t work out if you don’t want to, eat food which makes you feel good, whenever you want to, and whatever you do, please don’t compare yourself to The Body Coach if you’re attempting to do one of his workout videos!
P.S: if you or anyone you know is having a hard time at the moment in regards to E.Ds, BEAT has a brilliant website with a dedicated section on support during the COVID19 pandemic, including a 26 hour long support session on Sunday 26th April (today!): https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/coronavirus
A Northern Girl in a Southern World 